Before I choose this hill to die on, I want to be clear: I don’t hate the enemies-to-lovers trope. Some of my best ‘ships are enemies-to-lovers. All I’m saying is that enemies-to-lovers seems to have overtaken friends-to-lovers in the teen romance landscape, and that’s just not right. Sure, enemies-to-lovers — no matter how you choose to define that, because I am so not wading into that discourse right now — comes with the inherent sizzling tension of having to reassess your pride and prejudice (shoutout to Liz and Darcy) against another person before love can truly bloom between you. And, sure, nothing says flirting like banter and arguments with an undercurrent of heat.
But I’m sorry to say that for many people, there’s a very good reason why our enemies are our enemies, and it’s probably got nothing to do with secret feelings.
Probably.
Now, friends-to-lovers. There’s a romance arc I can get behind. Pop culture soured on the friends-to-lovers trope for very good reasons. Too often, it was conflated with the insidious Nice Guy trope, where that guy you think you’re just friends with is secretly hanging around in the hopes that you’ll “reward” him with your affections one day. Jealous and possessive behavior when a new guy enters your life? Thinking he’s entitled to have you because he’s been with you all this time? Making you realize your friendship was only ever valued because he thought you might kiss him one day? Yuck, yuck, yuck.
But I’m just a girl, standing in front of the internet, begging them to reconsider that stigma attached to one of my favorite tropes. Because friends-to-lovers isn’t about entitlement, possessiveness, or Nice Guys. It’s about realizing that the person you love most is the one that knows you best. It’s about the inherent sizzling tension of being genuinely unable to tell if you’re flirting or not because you guys have always been like this. It’s how Everyone Can See It. It’s about being afraid of ruining one of your most important relationships with romance, but realizing in the end that romance makes your friendship stronger, not weaker.
Or, as Lisa from Team Epic Reads puts it, “friends-to-lovers is 100000% better, but it hurts.”
Think of the angst…
And she’s not wrong. Think of the last time you had a crush on a friend, because I know that, at some point the life of every alloromantic out there, you probably did. Did he/she/they say you look beautiful because you look beautiful, or because he/she/they feel how you feel? Are you cuddling on the couch to watch a movie because you want to be close to each other or because you’re already as close as two people can be? Are you growing apart or growing stronger together as your relationship changes?
Friends-to-lovers comes with all the tense anxiety of enemies-to-lovers except worse because you can cut an enemy out of your life if the romance doesn’t work out. But a friend? You still have to see each other tomorrow and the day after that.
And the slowest of slowburns…
Friends-to-lovers is the ultimate slowburn of ‘ships, because you first have to establish a rich friendship before you work romantic tension into it in order to make it believable that these two friends have any chemistry together at all. And a good friend, a true friend, will watch you have other crushes and want nothing more than for you to be happy… even if it’s not with them, even if they have to swallow their own jealousy to be the support system that you need.
All too often, friends-to-lovers is a story of missed connections. You like them, but they don’t like you. They like you, but you don’t like them. You’re single, but they’re in a relationship. They want to give this a shot, but you’re afraid to ruin the friendship. Done right, friends-to-lovers is a breathless, anxiety-inducing, will-they won’t-they, finely crafted romantic arc that introduces a supportive, self-sacrificing power couple that’s been dominating the story before they ever shared their first kiss.
Plus, it’s just so relatable…
I don’t know about you, but almost every crush I’ve ever had was on one of my friends.
And that’s why I need more friends-to-lovers romance arcs out there. It’s the most relatable of all the romance arcs, and quite frankly there aren’t enough books that teach us how to navigate that grey area between friendship and relationship. I need more wlw and mlm friends-to-lovers arcs. I need more gender nonconforming friends-to-lovers arcs. I need more books where two friends are pining for one another and afraid to make the first move, more books where two friends just made the leap from friends to lovers and have no idea what to do differently now, more books where two friends made the leap, had it blow up in their face, and are trying to figure out how to go back to being just friends again.
And if there have to be love triangles — though I still hate love triangles, but that’s an essay for another day — let there be less love triangles where you’re caught between your friend who hates the new guy because he’s loved you all these years and more love triangles where two friends in a group of three like each other and the third is afraid of being the odd one out (shoutout to Nic Stone) or maybe has feelings for one of them, too.
Once more, I beg…
Somewhere along the way, we made the mistake of believing that friends-to-lovers just cheapens the friendship stories we we were looking for. And don’t get me wrong, I definitely agree that we need more books overall that focus on platonic relationships where people can just be friends without any romantic tension at all. But romances are including more enemies-to-lovers tropes than friends-to-lovers tropes across fantasy, contemporary, sci-fi, horror, and more, and no longer will friends-to-lovers get the short end of the love story stick. Not on my watch!
All of that said, please, please, please check out these friends-to-lovers stories (from contemporary to fantasy) and then seek out more. Or even write your own. Just for me.
Books with Friends-to-Lovers Romances
THAT YOU SHOULD READ
1. I’ll Be the One by Lyla Lee
The world of K-Pop has never met a star like this. Debut author Lyla Lee delivers a deliciously fun, thoughtful rom-com celebrating confidence and body positivity—perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Julie Murphy.
Skye Shin has heard it all. Fat girls shouldn’t dance. Wear bright colors. Shouldn’t call attention to themselves. But Skye dreams of joining the glittering world of K-Pop, and to do that, she’s about to break all the rules that society, the media, and even her own mother, have set for girls like her.
She’ll challenge thousands of other performers in an internationally televised competition looking for the next K-pop star, and she’ll do it better than anyone else.
When Skye nails her audition, she’s immediately swept into a whirlwind of countless practices, shocking performances, and the drama that comes with reality TV. What she doesn’t count on are the highly fat-phobic beauty standards of the Korean pop entertainment industry, her sudden media fame and scrutiny, or the sparks that soon fly with her fellow competitor, Henry Cho.
But Skye has her sights on becoming the world’s first plus-sized K-pop star, and that means winning the competition—without losing herself.
2. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli
In this sequel to the acclaimed Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda—now a major motion picture, Love, Simon—we follow Simon’s BFF Leah as she grapples with changing friendships, first love, and senior year angst.
When it comes to drumming, Leah Burke is usually on beat—but real life isn’t always so rhythmic.
She’s an anomaly in her friend group: the only child of a young, single mom, and her life is decidedly less privileged. She loves to draw but is too self-conscious to show it. And even though her mom knows she’s bisexual, she hasn’t mustered the courage to tell her friends—not even her openly gay BFF, Simon.
So Leah really doesn’t know what to do when her rock-solid friend group starts to fracture in unexpected ways. With prom and college on the horizon, tensions are running high.
It’s hard for Leah to strike the right note while the people she loves are fighting—especially when she realizes she might love one of them more than she ever intended.
3. Odd One Out by Nic Stone
Courtney Cooper and Jupiter Sanchez (Coop & Jupe!) have been next-door neighbors and best friends since they were seven-years-old. She’s his partner-in-crime and other half. But lately, Cooper can’t ignore he might want something more than friendship from Jupiter.
When Rae Chin moves to town she can’t believe how lucky she is to find Coop and Jupe. Being the new kid is usually synonymous with pariah, but around these two, she finally feels like she belongs. She’s so grateful she wants to kiss him…and her.
Jupiter has always liked girls. But when Rae starts dating Cooper, Jupe realizes that the only girl she ever really imagined by his side was her.
One story. Three sides. No easy answers.
4. This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender
A fresh, charming rom-com perfect for fans of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and Boy Meets Boy about Nathan Bird, who has sworn off happy endings but is sorely tested when his former best friend, Ollie, moves back to town.
Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. Although he’s the ultimate film buff and an aspiring screenwriter, Nate’s seen the demise of too many relationships to believe that happy endings exist in real life.
Playing it safe to avoid a broken heart has been his MO ever since his father died and left his mom to unravel—but this strategy is not without fault. His best-friend-turned-girlfriend-turned-best-friend-again, Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a twist that is rom-com-worthy, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend.
After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after?
5. Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova
I was chosen by the Deos. Even gods make mistakes.
Alex is a bruja, the most powerful witch in a generation… and she hates magic. At her Deathday celebration, Alex performs a spell to rid herself of her power. But it backfires. Her whole family vanishes into thin air, leaving her alone with Nova, a brujo boy she can’t trust. A boy whose intentions are as dark as the strange marks on his skin.
The only way to get her family back is to travel with Nova to Los Lagos, a land in-between, as dark as Limbo and as strange as Wonderland…
6. Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand
From the New York Times bestselling author of Furyborn comes a breathtaking and spine-tingling novel about three teenage girls who face off against an insidious monster that preys upon young women.
Who are the Sawkill Girls?
Marion: The newbie. Awkward and plain, steady and dependable. Weighed down by tragedy and hungry for love she’s sure she’ll never find.
Zoey: The pariah. Luckless and lonely, hurting but hiding it. Aching with grief and dreaming of vanished girls. Maybe she’s broken—or maybe everyone else is.
Val: The queen bee. Gorgeous and privileged, ruthless and regal. Words like silk and eyes like knives; a heart made of secrets and a mouth full of lies.
Their stories come together on the island of Sawkill Rock, where gleaming horses graze in rolling pastures and cold waves crash against black cliffs. Where kids whisper the legend of an insidious monster at parties and around campfires. Where girls have been disappearing for decades, stolen away by a ravenous evil no one has dared to fight…until now.
7. Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron
Heir to two lines of powerful witchdoctors, Arrah yearns for magic of her own. Yet she fails at bone magic, fails to call upon her ancestors, and fails to live up to her family’s legacy. Under the disapproving eye of her mother, the Kingdom’s most powerful priestess and seer, she fears she may never be good enough.
But when the Kingdom’s children begin to disappear, Arrah is desperate enough to turn to a forbidden, dangerous ritual. If she has no magic of her own, she’ll have to buy it—by trading away years of her own life.
Arrah’s borrowed power reveals a nightmarish betrayal, and on its heels, a rising tide of darkness that threatens to consume her and all those she loves. She must race to unravel a twisted and deadly scheme… before the fight costs more than she can afford.
Set in a richly imagined world inspired by whispered tales of voodoo and folk magic, Rena Barron’s captivating debut is the beginning of a thrilling saga about a girl caught between gods, monsters, and the gift and the curse of power.
8. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone. . . .
A convict with a thirst for revenge.
A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager.
A runaway with a privileged past.
A spy known as the Wraith.
A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.
A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.
Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo returns to the breathtaking world of the Grishaverse in this unforgettable tale about the opportunity—and the adventure—of a lifetime.
Have I convinced you that friends-to-lovers is the superior romantic arc? Sound off in the comments and for more romantic book recs, click here!