In the US, today is Election Day. The day when we get to stick it to ol’ King George and vote for the leader of our country. It takes a super human to run a super country like ours. In fact, we believe some of our nation’s Presidents could in fact be super – as in supernatural. No seriously. Read through our top picks below and see if you think some our Presidents were blessed with supernatural powers. To kick things off, we’ll start with an easy one, and most universally acknowleged:
ABRAHAM LINCOLN – Power Sensing
16th President from 1861-1865
Superhero equivalent: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Thanks for Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel, we are all keenly aware of Honest Abe’s extracurricular vampire-hunting activities. While being a vampire hunter doesn’t require supernatual powers, Abe Lincoln must have had the supernatural ability known as Power Sensing in order for him to be able to detect all those vamps.
GEORGE WASHINGTON – Superhuman Strength
1st President from 1789 – 1797
Superhero equivalent: Mr. Incredible (Like there could be any other choice for Washington.)
The are rumors Mr. Washington threw a silver dollar clear across the Potomac River. Many have debunked the legend, but we believe that that’s just a cover up and he DID actually throw the coin across the river. Also, we heard he chopped down quite a few cherry trees. Thus, we believe our first President was in fact, blessed with the gift of super human strength.
THOMAS JEFFERSON – Superhuman Mentality
3rd President from 1801–1809
Superhero equivalent: Iron Man (Tony Stark is not only a genius, but he’s also an inventor, just like Thomas Jefferson!)
It is said that Jefferson is the smartest of all the Presidents. He wrote the Declaration of Independence, founded the University of Virginia, and was an architect, a farmer, and a scientist. Because of his uncanny ability to invent new things and come up with brilliant ideas, we’re assuming he had help from his Superhuman Mentality.
ANDREW JACKSON – Dauntless
7th President from 1829–1837
Superhero equivalent: Eric or Four from Divergent (Depends on whether or not you love or hate him as a President.)
Okay, so being Dauntless isn’t technically a supernatural power, but it might as well be. You have to have strength, speed and agility in order to cut it in the most badass of factions in Divergent. And why do we think Andrew Jackson was Dauntless? Umm, he was the first President to ride on a train. No doubt he probably jumped from them too.
FRANKLIN PIERCE – Memory Manipulation
14th President from 1853 – 1857
Superhero equivalent: Professor X
Did you know that our 14th President was a master at memorization? His supernatural ability to memorize words is legendary. He memorized his inaugural speech – 3,319 words! If that isn’t a superpower, I don’t know what is.
ULYSSES S GRANT – Super Speed
18th President from 1869-1877
Superhero equivalent: Flash
It is said that Mr. Grant was once fined $20 for speeding – on his horse and carriage. Was he really to blame? I mean, come on. The guy had superhuman speed, of course he was going to get pulled over from time to time. Also, it’s must be noted that the “S” in his name allegedly doesn’t stand for anything, but we believe it stand for “Super Speed”.
BENJAMIN HARRISON – Electric Manipulation
23rd President from 1889 – 1893
Superhero equivalent: Pikachu (You know you love that comparison.)
He was the first President to have electric Christmas lights on his holiday tree. Not because of advances in lighting technology but because of his ability to manipulate electricity. Duh.
TEDDY ROOSEVELT – All around superhuman abilities
26th President from 1901-1909
Superhero equivalent: Captain America (Think about it. They are pretty much the same person.)
Apparently, this President is so unbelievably badass, he got his own dedication on Badass of the Week. Teddy is a war hero, assassination attempt surviver, former cowboy, undercover cop and basically all-around good guy. Only a human with supernatural abilities could have done all those things and more.
(Presidential portraits courtesy of this source)
What other Presidents do you think could have had superpowers? Tell us in the comments!